Guru Infomercials

Somethings defy commonsense - India's obsession with Gurus is one of those. Superstition in this day and age being the other.

Bombay Stock Exchange listed Aastha Broadcasting Network (AABR.BO) calls itself "India's No. 1 socio-spiritual-cultural television channel". I found yesterday that it charges 5,000 Pounds (they do not bill in dollars) per month for the 30 minute time slot.

So these cats in saffron and white robes and saris with their beatific smiles and gobbledygook doctrine pay to be on TV, which is fantastic for Aastha since other TV networks have to pay for content instead of being paid to broadcast content.

Aastha wagered that Indians are Guru obsessed and launched a channel selling airtime to Gurus wanting to get into Indian heads. And that it gets away with 5,000 Pounds per month per Guru shows it's right.

But why would Indians spend their leisure hours of life watching those who pay to speak on television? Those men and women would obviously want to recoup their investment by fleecing viewers for money.

These Gurus are TV hawkers. And how credible are Infomercials anyway? Infomercials from juicers to home gyms aren't taken seriously, so how can meditation and salvation sellers on TV be taken seriously?

India, was starting your day with the daily horoscope on TV and the local Newspaper not enough that the day has to end with Guru Infomercials?

Is 2009 not the year that you would shed your ignorant Guru worshipping, astrologer believing ways? If not, then when? Or will you forever be the ignorant race of the self proclaimed wise?

No, no, no, not another Guru thing!!!

Hopefully this will be the last, or mayen't be because we write about India and (at least some of) India is fixated with Gurus so there maybe more on the subject (and objects), but anyways we got this very preachy message from one CV Rajan at http://www.sulekha.com/.

Not that preachy messages are a bad thing, but this one rankled because:

1. we did not ask to be preached to
2. CV shared his vision of a true guru - which had nothing to do with our blog, so this man was commenting not on our commentary but using our blog to preach his views
3. did a poor job of preaching as he said nothing to substantiate or quantify his views - (he) used trite, oft quoted घिसा पिटा rhetoric to describe spirituality and Gurus (only when you understand what true spirituality means, then you will start searching for a true Satguru)
- firstly we did not ask how to find a Guru
- (he) did not quote any text to support his views, nor to prove his knowledge and authority of the subject (What? Every Indian knows what a true guru is just being Indian?)
- (we) did not criticise true gurus
- the blog was about bearded media darlings worth crores
- blog said "Gurus should be like Krishna and Drona" so its obvious we know who we think a true guru is.

So the questions are:

1. why does an average Indian turn blue and red at the (critical) mention of a guru?
2. why do all Indians say the same thing/ same wrods when it comes to the describing gurus and spirituality in a nation of great divides?

My take on that - notice mine, not ours - is that

• At least since the time of Kautilya there's direct evidence of the caste structure in India with Brahmins at the top of the social chain, in control of all existing knowledge and disseminating it.
• Brahmins preached that they alone knew what was in sacred texts and only they could teach and preach sacred texts, making themselves God's Oracles if Gurus, or learned Ones if Teachers - but in all cases Scriptures could only be taught by Brahmins, and only Brahmins could be Gurus
• Therefore Brahmins alone could show Royalty or masses the path to salvation and God. They wielded the power to bless or curse and being holy ones were not to be crossed or questioned since their knowledge was derived directly from the ancient scriptures, therefore the Guru's word was final and it was everyone's responsibility to respect and believe the Guru.
• How convenient, if Machiavellian, to position oneself as God's anointed class and caste and forbid the poor and the illiterate from ever questioning you - at that time like it is now most of India was agrarian and peasants were serfs owned in many places by landlords - so the ignorant are made to believe that the man telling them to submit has a right to ask for that submission.
• For centuries no one questioned this as Rajas benefited by Pandits blessing them - there were hardly any Pandits and Gurus admonishing Raja's wanton fornicating and plundering - and this Guru/ Raja nexus was used for centuries to control masses therefore control wealth and power. Raja's boosted Gurus and Guru's turned a blind eye to India being robbed by the Raja - लगान, or land taxes that filled royal coffers also built temples, killing millions of working Indians under the burden of generations long debts
• So maybe the idea of Guru worship has been entrenched/ indoctrinated into us for centuries - to believe that there is a need of a Guru has been propagated by those who want to be Gurus and control people, and to believe that Gurus are chaste and divine is also manufactured by the same spin team. Since it was the same spin team coining same terms CV in Chennai and Raja in Ambala say the same thing when it comes to the Guru but nothing else. Great brain washing.

Spritual needs are individual so where he/she finds solace is a personal matter, and not a universal truth - otherwise Gurus will be sold at Walmart.

In Internet times there's no need to rely on others' to point to the truth when access to knowledge (sacred texts if that's being sought) is freely available. Translation and commentaries can be found by learned scholars who have gone to college to study Philosophy and Religion. So before reaching blindly for a Guru - the media Guru who cannot handle an objective question answer session because lacks knowledge and skills to deal with questioning audiences, and is only good with those who submit - why not do some study, research and analysis on your own?

I don't need CV's mumbo-jumbo, I need something tangible like when Nidhi says according to "Yog Vashistha"

That blog mentioned the wedgie that makes the world walk wobbly. Hope CV removes his.

And for those truly seeking meaning of God, Love and Life we wish your Sat-Guru finds you as we hope ours will find us.

Believe yourself

Just as communism is a dead doctrine, so are these heads of religious organizations, who call themselves Gurus - incarnations of God or God Spawn, irrelevant, as the world has proved it can move forward and scale new heights of human accomplishment - in technology, and bringing freedom to the people who were long oppressed - by individual endeavors.

Waning of Church powers hasn't killed the Western world - no big Clerics in the US or Europe or galloping Russia telling people what to feel and think, and rise of Islamic fundamentalism hasn't made Muslims happier or more successful - Dubai is free from Mullah influences. Organized religion is not necessary for finding God because many times its pretenses are the walls between Man and God. And Organized Religion and its doctrines serve no one but the Head of the Organization since everyone else is a serf.

Gurus curtail free thinking by prescribing doctrines which nullify counter opinions. Indian Gurus of today - those exalted by the media - thrive and live off mass adulation, and a status that positions them above the common man, without empirical evidence of producing results that make the world a better place and their followers a better people.

Google led US, Berlin led Europe and technology led India are testaments of excellence from within without a Guru leading any of these success initiatives.

Gurus should be like Drona and Krishna.

Which of these Indian holy men can claim, honestly, to have led Indians to create Green or White Revolutions or India's technology base? What did they do that led to these successes is the question than needs to be answered in intelligent, modern language.

And, which modern Guru can claim bettering the world more than Bill and Melinda Gates?

Communism and Guru Worship have no place in today's world. As Berlin got there and San Jose did and London did without any help from guys in beards claiming divine connections. So can Bangalore and Mumbai - just believe in your self.

It's hard work, smart thinking, great timing, impeccable execution of plans that make life a success, and if you can plan a successful life plan, you can also make a successful life hereafter plan - it's YOU not that guy with a fixed smile who'll make it happen, so believe in yourself, for the only truth is what you do.

But if venerate you must then what's wrong with me? I can drive a Rolls, I can talk a lot (can't you tell) and be surrounded by glazed eyed followers chanting my name, and I promise I will share my wealth - at least 22% of it as a form of dividend to everyone who puts money in my coffers.

Need my paypal account?

Gemütlichkeit

Wearing failure like tight underwear, that makes one walk funny with a perpetual wedgie wedged close to the ass, world trots on. The rich are richer, the poor poorer, the disconnect between the stock markets and those close to foreclosures as vast it ever was, maybe the chasm harder to bridge than ever before.

Bhutto is almost killed, India almost plans to kill the Internet before it really grows in India, Salman Khan walks freely though a killer, Hizbullah and Al Qaeda are alive, but the good news is Berlin is the most livable city in the world. Washed clean of the blood it shed of those Jews and Gypsies and opponents of the Reich and freed from the weight of the nefarious iron curtain behind which crimes against human spirit were called socialism, it boasts of the good that Work-life balance produces.

Gemütlichkeit almost means cosiness, quality time spent in absence of anything hectic. According to Wikipedia "The underlying concept is that social tensions and certain environments can cause stress, resulting in a feeling of alienation. Gemütlichkeit is an active way of preventing such negative influences by going to places and/or meeting with people that are regarded to be gemütlich. A gemütlich person again is one that takes part in this lifestyle and knows about the tensions he/she is able to cause, and thus tries to avoid these things actively. This way an agreement is established to make an "environmentally cosy" site (Heuriger, garden, cellar, backyard restaurant, living room...) "socially cosy". One characteristic of a gemütlich situation is that one could blot out everything else (past, future, other places and absent people) and yet everything would be fine (an eternal "now and here"). Germans describe that as "leaving everything at the doorstep" (though a gemütlich place doesn't necessarily have to be inside a house)".

At the same time Berlin has some of the highest rents in Europe which demand that Berliners work hard in high technology arenas like Biotechnology and in powerhouses like BMW and Siemens.

Berlin Gemütlichkeit happens without a Guru's help and astrologer's predictions in the Newspapers and tarot reader's advice on morning TV. There's a new Jewish Center, there are cafes, bars, theaters, clean open spaces, modern infrastructure, absence of violent crime and severing of ties with the bloody past - which also means forgetting some of our own taboos and habits.

Its leaving the past behind to create a new present which makes Berlin so hip, so fun, so filled with Gemütlichkeit.

India should pull it's wedgie out - the wedgie made of hereditary succession, superstition, apathy, laziness, pinning blame and over dependence on Gurus and become like Berlin. Gurgaon is nice but it ain't no Berlin, Shanghai or London. It's all relative, so India Shining isn't a pinnacle it's a step so take longer steps, everyday, lest you're left behind. Stepping out of shadows of poverty doesn't mean one is out of the woods as there's a whole world to catch up with, so leave that yoga shivar, turn your back on that bearded guy who stymies your individuality by herding you like sheep in a pen of doctrine and mumbo jumbo, get a job, move out of your parents house and find out who you are and what will you do to make the world a better place.

Sri Sri Bhagwan is YOU, not that guy called an incarnation of someone by himself and his followers because each of us is born with an innate capacity to connect with God. The catalyst can't be God. Kabir may have misled the dim witted in exalting the Guru, because he wasn't thinking a Guy marshaling 1000s of crores as being your Guru while you slog and slave just trying to remain alive. A true Guru shares his wealth, shows you how to get where you want to be and is by your side till you make it, so Kabir's guru is that someone who teaches you how to overcome your weakness to get to the next step - maybe your Math teacher, and to a place where you are strong in all your weaknesses and alright being flawed, making money in a job and owning a flat instead of living in a kholi.

A teacher is worthy of respect, because a teacher has testimonials of his and her education. A college degree that proves pursuit of knowledge of a subject. The bearded guy wearing white or saffron rides a Rolls Royce because he scorns and scoffs questions about his learning and knowledge - where is his proof of having found what in which cave - because he bullies and shames the ignorant or the hopeful or the hopeless into believing and vanquishes questions with his arrogance of "how dare you ask, and if you ask you must be foolish, for you must know that ways of God can't be explained".

Agreed ways of God can't be explained. But pursuit of knowledge can be - like attending school, and in "higher" cases documentation of "miracles".

Big time preachers like Billy Graham, Robert Schuller, Oral Roberts and others are considered Bible scholars or charlatans, but never Jesus or Moses incarnate, as the moment they claim divinity they will be laughed out of success.

Don't believe your Guru's claim to divinity unless he has got you a cool job, a hot BMW and a fancy pad in Berlin because if your Guru can't get you there then why let him be your wedgie?