Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Hope that caught your attention.

I meant gender, not coitus or as some say bangbang.

The thing is I am quite depressed, even after a bloody fantastic lamb curry that Mike made - Vietnamese curry, tastier than .. okay I leave that to your imagination, mine's not working. There were no rice, noodles, bread in the office so Noel and I ate it with crackers, and since there also wasn't Coke or any soda downed it with sweet tea.

Noel is 70 or older and brought some old photos from the 30's (1930s not when he was 30) of boats and harbors, and one of a dog in a tree. He swears there was a dog in his neighborhood who could climb trees - which it did chasing cats, so now we have a photo of a dog and a cat in a tree. We will scan it, then restore it to remove faded spots and wrinkles.

He has so many stories and photos of so many of his friends and relatives from so long ago that it feels like a journey in time - looking at faded faces now gone beyond return yet there to see on these pieces of paper, which with technology we can sharpen, even slimming the fat ones's should someone want to spruce up a dead ancestor.

Since I said this was about gender, Noel and I are males - straight if you must know.

Being in a whirlwind vortex I don't know where I end and begin, it's just moving, non stop, looking at time passing yet not making an indelible mark on it - no Taj Mahal, no Big Bazaar, no nothing of enduring value except non stop motion leading to sometime in 2008, when the movement will become more frenzied looking for a new place in Vancouver and then time will stand still, splutter, die, rot with maggots of despair eating it as life splits in two between Bombay and here.

Will that be a point of no return?

What can I say?

I could say I wish, please, but then my voice is smothered by inertia that surrounds this constant moving between places and places which now choke life and which I wear like albatross around my neck - a reminder that asset and liability are flip sides of each other.

What will be, will be without me, or with me.

So I need to lasso time, and straddle it lest it runs away, that is only how it can be with me.

Back to sex? For that should be with me.

Or shall I just lie down and die? How about dying standing, or doggie style?


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